Extra, Extra, Read All About It !!!

To my great delight, my husband made into our newspaper, "The Courant".  As I had mentioned before he is an artist, mostly comic books.  His specialty is drawing superheros.  The artical in the paper is about the graphic novel he drew of Sonia Sotomayor, the newest Supreme Court Justice.  The books will be available in April for purchase.  This coming Monday a hispanic television station will be coming to our house to interview my husband.  They will be airing the interview on TV.  TeleMundo is the TV station.  It has been quite exciting for my husband.  He has been waiting many years for a break like this.  It a very difficult to get in the comic book world as an artist.  To see the article:  www.courant.com     Click on Life & Family, once you see the article, click on it again to see some of the drawings from the book.

This weekend I am caring for a good friends five month old baby.  She had to go out of town and asked if I could watch her. She is sitting on my lap right now.  It does feel good to hold a little one again.  It has been awhile since I held a little one, let alone one without tubes all over the place.  Part of me feels guilty for having another little one in the house and for holding another baby.  I keep asking Alana if it is o.k. and I keep telling her that she will always be my "baby."  I know it sounds silly but that is how I feel.  Alana is my girl!! 

All of my older children have been holding the baby.  It is a good thing for them.  It is helping us all to heal.  My little one's a just loving it.  They don't want her to leave.  Antonio does a lot of comparing between her and Alana.  He remembers so much about his little sister.  Antonio and Alana had a special bond.

Please pray for my husband and I as we endeavor to start up a foundation or a fund in Alana's name.  We have talked with some people about this and are trying to come up with a name.  We would like to have it attached to Mt Sinai's Transplant Hospital and have it help out parents like Cesar and I.  As we were going through the transplant with Alana many needs came up.  We would like to have funds available to help out other families.  If anyone has any suggestion please let us know.

God is good.

In the Swing of Things!

This past Friday my husband and I went to meet with the gentleman that will be making Alana's Marker for her grave.  It is going to be beautiful.  My husband will be designing an etching of Alana's face to be placed in the center of the marker. He is an artist and wanted to do something special for her.  There will also be an angel on the corner of the marker.  Her full name, dates and the words, "God Precious Gift", will be engraved on the marker.  The color of the granite has a beautiful pink hue to it, which was Alana's favorite color.  The marker will be placed on her grave in the spring.

In the next few months I will be going back to foster care.  My husband and I have been filling out the paperwork necessary to renewing our Foster and Adoption license.  For me, I need to get back to doing what I love to do, and that is taking care of children in need.  I will start off by doing what is called the hotline.  We can get a call at anytime of the day for a child in need.  They will stay in our house for 24 - 48 hours, then the child will be placed in a long-term foster home.  I am not quite ready to day long-term care as of yet, but the desire to help is great.

What I would love to do is to have an infant from Haiti.  It has been on my mind everyday since the earthquake.  There are so many infants and children in need in that country.  I would love to help somehow in someway.  A friend of mine has taken in interest in going to the country for 2 weeks of voluntary work and asked if I would like to do that.  Who knows, I would definitely have to pray about it.

I am pretty much back in the swing of things.  Teaching has been going quite well.   I am in a co-op home school group.  I teach my 7 year old and another little boy that is 7.  The boys are doing well.  My four year old is in pre-school home school group.  She has been doing wonderful.  She absolutely loves school.

The extra time that I have had is starting to fill up, which I like.  My mornings are filled with teaching.  The afternoons are filled with picking up my daughter from high school, Antonio's piano lessons, basketball practice and homework.  I now have Aubree in gymnastics, so that is another afternoon activity.  By the way, she is a natural.  She was completely at home on the gymnastics floor.  Aubree was fearless!!  Aubree said to me a couple of days ago, "Mommy, please may I go somewhere?"  My reply to her was, "What do you mean, go somewhere?"  Her response, "I want to go to that place where I can jump and do flips."  That told me how much she enjoyed going to gymnastics.

I am going to end this post with a special little poem that my uncle's girlfriend wrote.  She sent it to our family in a card.  It reads:

It seems there's very little
Anyone can say or do
To ease the loss of Alana
Who meant so much to you.

But I know you're finding comfort
In the sorrow that you bear,
Just knowing she's at peace with Jesus
And that you'll see her again over there.....

GOD IS GOOD!!!

One Month!!

I can hardly believe it has been a month since Alana went home to be with Jesus. It seems so long ago but yet so fresh in my mind and heart. It seems very strange to me that I have not seen her for a whole month or that fact that I have not been in NY for that length of time.


This past month has brought a whirlwind of emotions and up's and down's. But, the blessing in all of this is that God has been there right by my side, comforting me and giving me the strength to make it through another day. God does promise to never me or forsake me, that I am grateful for.


During this month I have busied myself with projects at home that have gone undone since we had Alana. I was not able to do certain things in the house because she required much of my attention. I have done quite a bit of reorganization and cleaning. Each week the garbage has been overflowing and lots of clothing going to the Salvation Army. It does feel good to get my home back in order.


I also have been able to spend more time with my other children. This was a difficult area to work out because Alana was in NY. I was doing much traveling back and forth between CT and NY and barely had time to do all the other things a mother is suppose to do. I tried to make sure a spent a least a little time with each child but, I know it was not enough. The children did seem to understand what mom had to do. They knew Alana needed me.


I wanted to mention that Antonio, our seven year old has pretty much recovered from his illness. He had a day of fever and a couple of days using the nebulizer. Praise God this was all that was required. Thanks for your prayers.

God is good :)


Psalms 18:1-2


I will love thee, O Lord my strength.
The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

                                                      

 

It's Here!!

Alana's videos are finally uploaded to a YouTube site. The link for the video's is on the side of my blog page. Just click on it. You will enjoy the videos. You will get to see how happy she was, despite all of her serious health issues. You will get to see why she was so loved by us and many others who knew her. The video shows why we called her "Our Lil Fighter."

Yesterday afternoon we had a birthday party for Aaron, who is now 20 and for Ashlee, who is 18. Their birthdays are on Jan. 15 and Jan. 17. Many family and friends came over to celebrate their birthdays at our home. I can't believe I have children that are 21, 20 and 18. I am still feeling rather young. It was nice to just have friends and family over to celebrate a happy occasion.

Early this afternoon, my grandmother flew back to Florida after being here since December 20, 2009. Yes, she arrived on the same day Alana went home to be with the Lord. On that same day my niece turned 9 years old. It was a busy day. My grandmother is a spry 87 year old beautiful, godly women. I am very glad that she was here during this difficult in our lives. She has sweet memories of spending time with Alana. What touched me the most about my grandmother being here in CT was what she said to me last night as she was saying her good-byes. She said to me that she was glad that she was here to see and say good-bye to her great-granddaughter. Now, mind you, Alana was adopted by us this past May and my grandmother has only seen her a few times, but yet she loved her like her own biological great-grand. For some reason that meant the world to me.

When I found out that my grandmother was coming for a visit this past December, we were all going to take a trip to NY to visit with Alana. The Lord had other plans. God's will is always better.

Well, sicknesses are starting to settle into our home. My four year old is sick, my seven year old boy, Antonio is also sick. He is the one that ends up in the hospital every winter. So far, he has done quite well this cold season. I am a little nervous right now and am praying he can fight through this illness and not end up in the hospital. January and February for him are the "bad months." He has sever asthma and a narrow airway(subglottic stenosis). This narrowing in his airway causes him to get croup like symptoms that unfortunately do not respond to your conventional croup treatments. It can be a fightening time for him and the rest of us when he has trouble breathing.

Antonio's health is the very reason why we decided to homeschool him this year. While he was in school from K-4 - first grade he was always sick. It would start in September and last through April. He missed quite a bit of school. My husband and I talked about what was the best thing to do regarding Antonio and the fact that Alana was in the hospital in NY. Like I mentioned the right decision was to go ahead and teach him at home and we would just let the Lord work out the rest, and that He did. When I was in NY during the week my husband or my oldest son would teach him. When I was home I would teach. I would have lesson plans made up for my husband and son when they had to take over. As I look back on these past months, I can hardly believe I made it through. That was definitely God's doing. Please pray for Antonio and his health. He also has to have surgery for the removal of his gallbladder.

Again thank you all for your continued prayers. God continues to show us His infinite wisdom in regards to Alana's passing. It has been amazing to see some of His workings.

God is good.

   For some reason the last three or four days has been extremely difficult for me in regards to Alana.  I have much more time on my hands now.  I am not used to having this extra time.  I call it, "empty space".  Because of this extra time, I start thinking.  I find myself asking, "What if."  What if she did not get a perforated bowel, would she still be here?  At that point everything went bad with her, surgery after surgery.  What if her liver was better, would she had been in a better place to fight off infections and recovery from the surgeries with more strength.  In my heart, I know that God was and is in control, but my mind keeps thinking of the "what if's".  Maybe it's just because I miss her so much.  There are just so many reminders.

   My four year old daughter continues to ask everyday about Alana.  She asked me yesterday where Alana's bed was.  Sometimes she tells me that her sister is in heaven and that she can talk now.  The other day she had an argument with her seven year old brother regarding Alana.  She told him that Alana was playing in heaven.  Her brother told her that, "Heaven was not a paradise playground".  That did put a smile on my face.  Antonio likes to write notes and color pictures for Alana.  He also likes to make songs about her.  I can tell the little ones miss Alana very much.

   Yesterday, I took my four year old daughter to CCMC for a couple of medical appointments.  It was strange to go to these appointments and have it not be for Alana.  It was also hard for some of the doctors and nurses to see me there without Alana.  They all miss her deeply.  Alana did not just have us as her family, she also had Children's here in CT as her family too.  We called Children's, Alana's second home.

   I wanted to mention that my sons hand surgery went well.  He has a follow-up this morning at 8:00. I will get a chance to see it when I take him to his appointment.  Hopefully all will be well with his finger.  He is having a hard time with the pain, but I told him in time that will get better.  It just takes time to heal.

   Thank you for those who continue to pray for our family and for those who send cards with beautiful words of encouragement.  It has been a blessing to me and my family to know that people take the time to pray for us and send words of encouragement.

   God is good. 

  

  

Blessings and more Blessings!!

   Yesterday, I received a beautiful letter from a high school girl that I used to coach in volleyball.  Her letter was in reference to Alana's passing.  The letter was written with such maturity and grace, that it's hard to believe she is still in high school.  In the letter she shared with us five different verses from the book of Psalms.  I would like to share them with you.

   Psalms 18:2 "The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior, my God is my rock, in whom I find protection...and my place of safety."
   Psalms 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble."
   Psalms 147:3 "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."
   Psalms 27:14 "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart: wait on the Lord."
   Psalms 29:11 "The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace."

   I was very touched by her letter, which she hand wrote.  She also wrote out each verse.  What a blessing this young lady was to me and my family.  This girl did get a chance to meet Alana as did most of the girls I coached on the volleyball team.  They all enjoyed Alana's happy spirit when she came with me to games and practices.

   A few days ago one of my aunts called to share a blessing with me.  Boy, what a blessing it was.  She wanted to tell me how much Alana meant to her.  She had only met Alana one time and that was all that was needed.  She remembers how happy and free-spirited Alana was.  My aunt got a kick out of how Alana scooted about on the floor.  But, it was this past December that Alana's life touched my aunt the most.  Because of the struggles Alana was going through and our family and how I was sharing the pain of it on my Caringbrigde, it was helping my aunt through a rough time that she was having.  What a blessing that was to here.  It was a dark time that was a light for somebody else.  When she shared that with me, my heart was so glad.  I find it amazing how God works these trials out, He turns them into blessings.  He does say in His Word, "All things work together for good." 

   Another blessing that has come out of all this is the hospital that Alana was at in NY, Mt Sinai wants to do a memorial service in her honor.  Many of the doctors and nurses were quite close to Alana, she was very special to them.  Most of them had to work and could not come to her funeral.  They would like to opportunity to remember her and she was a blessing she was.  I was very honored at that request.  It will probably be some time next month.  It will be nice to see all the doctors and nurses again.  They all put up such a good fight on Alana's behalf.

    We are still trying to upload the video of Alana's life onto the computer.  The friend who did the video is working on that.  We are hoping to have a link from this website to the video.  Many people who were not able to come to the funeral would like to see the video.  I am looking forward for people to see the video and get to know our little girl.  She was more than just a sick girl in the hospital.  She had a wonderful and happy life.  It is a joy to watch it.

   I will once again be in and out of the doctors office and the hospital for a couple of my children.  That has been a little difficult.  At this time I do not like going into the hospitals.  My oldest son shattered his little finger playing basketball.  He is having surgery on his finger this coming Wednesday.  Thankfully it is a day surgery.  He has to have a couple of pins put in it.  My four year old daughter has a couple appointments at CCMC because see is having some bladder issues.  Hopefully, all will be resolved in the next few weeks.

   My seven year old, the one who needs his gall bladder out has been doing great.  We are going to wait awhile on that surgery.  It is just to soon to have another one of my children laid up in a hospital.  He is being watched carefully.  There have been no signs of any problems.

   Our family has been doing fine.  We all have our good days and our not so good days, but God has been gracious.  We get our comfort from Him and each other.  Our four year old is always telling people that, "Alana is not here, she is up there in heaven and she can talk now."  It is sweet to here her speak of her little sister.  It makes me smile.

   Thank you to all those who continue to pray for us.  All your prayers continue to be a blessing to us.

   God is good.
 

our baby girl

We miss her every day, but thank the Lord she was a part of our lives as long as she was.