December 20th is fast approaching. This is the day our Alana went home to be with the Lord. Part of me does not want that day to come. It is hard to explain the loss and the pain in words. Then there are days when I feel like I can get through that day like a champ. Everyday I have to ask God for His strength and to fill my mind with happy memories of my Alana Kay.
The other day I spoke with the Transplant Coordinator at Mt Sinai Hospital where Alana was a patient. We were both reminiscing about the fun times we all had with Alana while she was in the hospital. One of the things she remembered about Alana was the way Alana squinted her eyes before her picture was to be taken. Just talking about Alana helped me remember those sweet moments. In my mind I am still stuck on my daughter's last days and I do not want to be stuck there anymore. The picture above is what I want to be in my mind.
Last night I was lying in bed remembering how much my sweet Alana had suffered. Unimaginable suffering, in every detail! At that split moment I was glad that she no longer is suffering. She is whole and with Jesus. But I miss her more that words can ever tell. I would give anything to have her back in my arms. I want to hold her, smell her, stroke her beautiful hair and tell her how much I love her. At least I know that when I die someday I will see my "girly girl" again.
My husband and I do have a request of those of you who can help. We have not yet been able to get "Alana's Bubbles for Joy Foundation" started yet, but we do want to do something for the children at Connecticut Children's Hospital and the Kravis Children's Hospital in NY. If you can donate bubbles or bubble toys in memory of Alana Kay and send them to our home, we will get the bubbles to both hospitals. You can reach either myself or my husband through this blog, FB or email. Alana loved her bubbles and I know she would be pleased to see other children enjoy bubbles too.
Thank you for your continued prayers. God is good.
Oh how I understand remembering the last days of loved ones - such painful memories! My heart and prayers are with you and your family during the anniversary of Alana's going home. I was just thinking of her the other day and I was reflecting on how much you and your family loved that little ray of sunshine. <3
ReplyDeleteI pray you and your family can get through the "anniversary" and the holidays with God's continuing, unwavering love and comfort.
(((HUGS)))
Suzanne Griffin