Brokenhearted!!

   This has been by far the most difficult week thus far since Alana's death.  The pain just seems to hit without any warning.  It has been almost unbearable at times with loosing my baby.  All the old feeling that I had thought where gone came flooding back, especially anger.  Not anger towards God but just over the fact that she is not here.  Yet, I would never want her to have to suffer like she did.

   Yesterday was particularly difficult.  It is now 2 months since Alana has been gone.  I could not stop crying and I felt like I could not deal with any of this anymore.  Once again, God is so faithful.  I felt His warm arms around me, letting me know that I can continue on.  God brought to my mind, my children, my husband my family, my friends and how much they all care and pray.

   I did feel bad for having all these feelings of anger, sadness, and despair in my heart but my mother let me know that it is okay and that it is normal to go through this.  My mother knows first hand about loosing someone.  Her husband, my father and her father, my grandfather have both passed away in the past five years.

   I friend of my husband sent us a book titled, Devotions for the Brokenhearted Hope for the Grieving.  I just started reading the book.  The person who wrote the book, knew first hand about loosing a child.  God gave that family the strength to continue on and I know that it will happen for me and my family.  It just takes time.

...Because God has said,

"Never will I leave you;

never will I forsake you."

So we say with confidence,

"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid..."

Hebrews 13:5-6

  

   

   Thank you for praying for my friend Kasey.  She is doing better, but still needs your prayers.  Thank you.

God is good.